Tired and worn out

All the joys of life have left me ragged and worn. Sometimes I wonder why I make an effort with anything when it just gets over looked or completely ignored. Non the less, I can't stop myself from making the effort. It is stressful, hurtful and quite frankly rather depressing. Maybe that is why for the last two weeks I have been on edge and very depressed. A depressed that doesn't seem to be going away. At a moments notice I just want to break down and cry. One of those good cries where you think it is going to make you feel so much better, where you cry till you can't anymore, but it doesn't work. I just cry and all it does is make my nose stuffy, eyes puffy and gives me a headache. I wonder if the Clomid I am taking to try to get pregnant is making my anti-depressants not work and making it harder to deal with life in general. I do believe I need a shrink, along with others that won't do it, I just need to find out if my insurance will cover it. If not I guess I am pretty much left with crying the cry that doesn't make me feel better and working it out myself. Since the working it out myself doesn't seem to be working I guess I will just try to wait for a cry that will make me feel better. I really do not like feeling this way. I really don't like feeling the way some of the things others do to me makes me feel. What is a girl to do? Not much of anything.

Since I didn't get a Happy Aniversary, much less anything else, nor a Happy Mothers day, again let alone anything else, I decided for my birthday I was going to spoil myself. I bought a Nintendo DS. I got those Brain Age games. Oh man they are so fun. The second one is so much harder than the first, but it is very challenging and make you really work your brain. I also got My French coach. Great for refreshing on french. Has fun games and lessons on it. Got the old style (classic) Super Mario Brothers. Man I love that game. And Donkey Kong. I am going to have to make mom do the brain age game. I think she would like it and hate it all at the same time. Oh yeah I also bought myself a new bookshelf. Now I have four that form a wall for the basement room :) Great way to do it huh!!! Now I just have to yet again rearrange all my books to satisfy my OCD!!! Never going to work I tell you, never. A while ago I got one of those embossers for books with this book belongs to the library of blah blah blah. I have done about half of my books now I just need to do the rest and put them all in order and all that fun stuff. I guess I should start on that tomorrow before it really bugs me more. If that is at all possible.