So proud

I am just so gosh darn proud of myself!!!! I finally took a picture of the box Mark made for my blown glass ball. Yes it took a while but I did it. Even got it into the computer. Now he is going to make a bottom for it so we can put a light underneath it and light it from the bottom. It will look so great.

But that isn't all. Months ago, I started putting up pictures in the hall. Ha it started with 3, and it stayed at 3 for a long time. I finally ordered pictures and got them all up. Well ok, Mark helped except for today. You know I was so darn capable of doing stuff all on my own before I got together with Mark. I could work on my own car and make stuff if I wanted to. I don't know what happened. All of a sudden he does everything. I asked him to do stuff I am totally capable of. I wonder if it is because he is just mister do it, that I just assume he will take care of it for me. Of course the same goes with him too. So today I was sitting here thinking, why am I even considering waiting till he gets home from work to put these up. That is just silly. So I got my step ladder out, and the nails, and ruler and went to work. Looks pretty darn good if you ask me. I am not done, but it is getting there. I gotta get more frames. I even had to cut holes in some of my frames before I could put them up. Silly me when out and bought some yesterday and didn't even pay attention to what I was buying. They were just stand up ones, didn't have any holes for hanging. So I open them when I get home, and rip off the stand thingy and than notice after i have done them all, ohhh there isn't a hole. So i got out my exacto knife and went to work. Darn it if it didn't work like a dream too. So I have pictures so people can see. I don't know why the picture is blue, I am going to have to play with my camera because that isn't the only one it did that too.

The horrible guilt

Not to sound horrible, but I am so my mothers daughter when it comes to sympathy. I have hardly any when it comes to someone doing something they know they shouldn't be and they get hurt. Don't expect me to fawn all over you and "oh you poor baby." It just isn't going to happen. I know that sounds just horrible but it is the dead truth. When there is a cause for sympathy I have it though. Take for instance my day on Tuesday. I knew I was going to be watching Victoria, so I get up and get the house straightened up so I have less to clean when she goes. I typically leave the door unlocked so they don't have to knock and I don't have to go for the door. Well silly me went out of the house about 1/2 an hour before Susan and Victoria got here, and like I automatically do everything I come in, I locked it. So when I hear a pounding on my door (Iwas in the back of the house on the computer) I starting screaming that I will be right there and to keep their panties on. Oh silly me. Susan frantically yells that they need in right now. It was the tone of voice that did it for me. I run to the door and fling it open and there stand Victoria crying at the top of her lungs and bleeding all over the place. So we rush her in get a towel and ice on her lip. While we are doing this Susan is telling me that Victoria got out of the car and started walking towards the door while trying to take off her jacket. Well the girl isn't known for her grace! Well she takes a fall face first and because she was all tangled in her jacket she couldn't stop the fall. So we look at her lip trying to debate if we should take her into the Emergancy room. Oh it was so gross! She darn near put her teeth through her bottom lip. The inside was just narled, and the outside was split from falling on it and it is as clear as day that it is an emergancy room trip. So we call Susans work, call Victorias mom and head out. Since the hospital is less than 5 minutes from us, she curls up on my lap on the drive there. Well we get there, and we wait, and wait, and wait some more. She fortunatly fell asleep. So we take her back and the doctor looks at it sure enough she needs 4 stitches on the inside. Now at this point, I am just feeling gosh darn aweful and guilty about all this because it happened at my house. Why this should make me feel guilty I have no clue but it does. So I am darn near as truamatized as she is. Stupid me it is about to get so much worse. They numb the wound, than strap her down to one of those flat boards so she can't move her body. It takes two nurses to hold her head down and still so the doctor can stitch her. The whole time she is screaming "Get off me." and other stuff that just ripped my heart out. Afterwards, they tried to give her stickers and a cute little stuffed unicorn but she wouldn't take anything from the nurses. She was ticked! By this time I am darn near in tears because this is her first big ouchy and it happened at my house. So she is here today, her bottom lip is HUGE! You can't understand much of what she says because of it. her chin is black and blue and all mangled. It just kiss me. so there that is my tragic story of guilt.

Totally at my wits end

I'm going to pop! I am completely sick of being a female! So here is my problem. As everyone knows I am on Clomid to help me get pregnant. The first month worked great. Had my little friend and everything. Well this month, I'm either late, pregnant, or the pills didn't work. Well I shouldn't be late according to my doctor since it is drug induced. So for the most part I am ruling that out but not completely. I have taken 2 pee on stick tests, and they were both negative. Now I don't know if it is because they are the totally cheap ones from the Dollar Tree, but I have known people to use those and not have a problem. The first one I took when I was pregnant was an EPT and it was no doubt prositive. So I don't know if I should wait a while and take another one. But it even says right on the box, you can take it one day after your missed period. Well it is more than one day! If the pills didn't work, I think I am just going to sit in a corner screaming. I don't want to have to go back to the doctor say, hey it didn't work you gotta give me those horrid pills to force my little friend again and start all over. This is horrible! Those pills make me so sick and crappy feeling. I am just tired of this. All I ask for is one little precious baby! That is it. Why does it have to be so freaken hard? I see all these people who A) didn't want kids in the first place but have them. B) Are horrible to their kids and yell at them all the time and have no patience with them C) people who think kids should be seen but not heard and do nothing with them. and D) people who have kids just to stay on welfare, and section 8 and all the government programs so they don't have to get off their lazy butts and get a real job and make a good example for their children. These are people who really shouldn't have had kids. Yet someone like me, who thinks they would be a good parent and love their child and do what it takes so make a great life for them have to go through all this pain staking crap just to get pregnant. IT ISN'T FAIR!!! Am I just kidding myself and I really shouldn't have a child? Would I not be a good loving parent? Is that why I can't get pregnant? Seriously how much can one person take? This is just getting rediculous.
In the good news department, we got our new couch. I love it. It does need a little breaking in because it is still a bit stiff but it looks great. I will take pictures and put them up so people can see. I got my glass blown ball. Mark is in the process of making a 3 sided glass box that will be lit underneath for it. So if it takes a tumble so how it isn't going to shatter just be a little rattled. What a great guy huh?!?! So once that is done I will put up a picture of that too. It is really cool. My prescription sunglasses should be in anyday. My regular glasses came in a couple weeks ago. Everyone said they like them. If i get in the mood I will put a pic of me with them on for you all. They are pretty!