I'm going to pop! I am completely sick of being a female! So here is my problem. As everyone knows I am on Clomid to help me get pregnant. The first month worked great. Had my little friend and everything. Well this month, I'm either late, pregnant, or the pills didn't work. Well I shouldn't be late according to my doctor since it is drug induced. So for the most part I am ruling that out but not completely. I have taken 2 pee on stick tests, and they were both negative. Now I don't know if it is because they are the totally cheap ones from the Dollar Tree, but I have known people to use those and not have a problem. The first one I took when I was pregnant was an EPT and it was no doubt prositive. So I don't know if I should wait a while and take another one. But it even says right on the box, you can take it one day after your missed period. Well it is more than one day! If the pills didn't work, I think I am just going to sit in a corner screaming. I don't want to have to go back to the doctor say, hey it didn't work you gotta give me those horrid pills to force my little friend again and start all over. This is horrible! Those pills make me so sick and crappy feeling. I am just tired of this. All I ask for is one little precious baby! That is it. Why does it have to be so freaken hard? I see all these people who A) didn't want kids in the first place but have them. B) Are horrible to their kids and yell at them all the time and have no patience with them C) people who think kids should be seen but not heard and do nothing with them. and D) people who have kids just to stay on welfare, and section 8 and all the government programs so they don't have to get off their lazy butts and get a real job and make a good example for their children. These are people who really shouldn't have had kids. Yet someone like me, who thinks they would be a good parent and love their child and do what it takes so make a great life for them have to go through all this pain staking crap just to get pregnant. IT ISN'T FAIR!!! Am I just kidding myself and I really shouldn't have a child? Would I not be a good loving parent? Is that why I can't get pregnant? Seriously how much can one person take? This is just getting rediculous.
In the good news department, we got our new couch. I love it. It does need a little breaking in because it is still a bit stiff but it looks great. I will take pictures and put them up so people can see. I got my glass blown ball. Mark is in the process of making a 3 sided glass box that will be lit underneath for it. So if it takes a tumble so how it isn't going to shatter just be a little rattled. What a great guy huh?!?! So once that is done I will put up a picture of that too. It is really cool. My prescription sunglasses should be in anyday. My regular glasses came in a couple weeks ago. Everyone said they like them. If i get in the mood I will put a pic of me with them on for you all. They are pretty!
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Fene, I hope you realize that I understood every single thing you said. I felt the same way myself. Life seems to be very unfair in the child department and that is more saddening than most anything else in the world. The very best advice I can give you is to not let it consume you, take a breather, focus on something else. Also trust that if and when it happens for you is the right time. Of course, that's very easy for me to say now that I have living children but I tried (through gritted teeth) to remember it then, too. Lastly, don't forget what jump-started my ovulation. If I were you, I'd work really hard on that just in case that is your road block. Love you!
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